Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
