one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
