Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
