He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
