he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
