I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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