I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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