Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
