weddingsv make me drug and hornr
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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