We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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