"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
