I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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