nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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