you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
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