so that wasnt chicken after all
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
