remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
