And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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