It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Randomize
