why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
