..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
