whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
