Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This baby is an asshole
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
