I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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