i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
