I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize