this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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