I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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