is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Drunk is not a location!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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