I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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