Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
