that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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