Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the condom got lost in my hair
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im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
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Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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