3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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