Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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