Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
