put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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