Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
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