You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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