i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am one with the molecules
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