The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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