Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
