No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
