OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
