Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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