im drinking this country out of the recession.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize