I think i peed on brittanys purse
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
