i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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