You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
