I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
