It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
