If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
how does that bad decision feel?
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