where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
