I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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