I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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