Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize