community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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