i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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