If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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