she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
