it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
