everyone is single if you try hard enough
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
