I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
